i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
