i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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