I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
