I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
