Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
