false alarm. still invincible.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
