No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
