im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
