Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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