I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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