I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
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her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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