Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
