I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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