I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize