Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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