I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize