we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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