Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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