Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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