puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
