First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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