Duck Duck Cougar?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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