You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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