We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
