I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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