Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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