This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm drive I can fine osifer
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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