you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize