you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize