He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
