I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
