Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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