i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
