Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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