But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
bring money and cleavage
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
