i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
