It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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