she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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