I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
