Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
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So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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