What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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