I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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