Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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