Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
