Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
