This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
