I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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