So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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