He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize