Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
