I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
