Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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