talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
as a side note pls kill me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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