Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
