You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
