like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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